Women of the Kingdom

When Your Husband Is Hostile to Your Faith

Boundaries, Obedience, and What to Do When “Keeping the Peace” Would Require Disobeying Yehovah

An open Bible, handwritten notes, and a calm hand at a warm wooden table beside a softly closed door

Coffee Break with Sasha

There is a sentence women in difficult marriages hear with astonishing frequency: “Just keep the peace.” It sounds biblical. Peace is good. Yeshua blesses peacemakers. Paul tells us, as far as it depends upon us, to live peaceably with others. Nobody needs me wandering around the house at 7:00 a.m. looking for theological combat before the coffee has finished brewing. But sometimes “keep the peace” actually means something entirely different.

Don't mention that. Don't keep Shabbat if it annoys him. Eat it so he doesn't get mad. Lie for him. Cover that up. Don't tell anybody what happens at home. Stop talking to those women. You don't need to study that much. If you were submissive, you would do what I said. If you disagree with me, you're disagreeing with God. And suddenly peace means one person gets to do whatever he wants while the other person absorbs the consequences quietly enough that nobody has to acknowledge there is a problem.

That is not peace. Sometimes it is silence. Sometimes it is fear. And sometimes it is control wearing a Bible verse as a necktie. The woman living this often becomes extraordinarily skilled at reading the room. She knows which Bible is safest to leave on the table, which topics can be discussed before dinner, which convictions will start an argument, whether he has been drinking, whether his voice has changed, whether tonight is a night to explain herself or simply get through the evening. She may spend so much time anticipating another person's reaction that she barely notices how much of her spiritual life has become organized around preventing him from becoming angry.

There is another burden women are frequently expected to carry that Scripture never actually assigns to them: managing an adult husband's emotional regulation. A wife can and should care about how her words affect her husband, just as he should care about how his words affect her. Marriage requires compassion in both directions. But another adult's emotions remain that adult's responsibility. You are responsible for whether you speak cruelly; you are not responsible for making sure he never feels frustrated. You are responsible for whether you intentionally provoke; you are not responsible for preventing every angry reaction. You are responsible for your behavior before Yehovah; you are not responsible for regulating another grown person's nervous system so that the house remains peaceful.

This distinction becomes especially important when anger is used to obtain compliance. If every boundary produces rage and every disagreement becomes punishment until you finally surrender, the problem is no longer simply that your husband “has strong emotions.” His anger has become a mechanism through which your behavior is being controlled. That deserves to be recognized for what it is rather than baptized as a wife's responsibility to “keep the peace.”

And before anybody hands her 1 Peter 3 and tells her to smile more attractively while suffering, we are going to read the paragraph. Again. Apparently this is my ministry now.

Disagreement Is Not the Same Thing as Hostility

We need to be careful with our language because disagreement itself is not abuse, persecution, oppression, misogyny, or hostility. Your husband is allowed to think you are wrong. He can believe Sabbath observance is unnecessary. He can think your interpretation of Acts 10 is strange. He may refuse dietary changes, decline to attend a feast, disagree about how the children should be taught, or ask hard questions about theology. A husband having an opinion you dislike is not automatically spiritual abuse.

Likewise, a wife can become controlling in the opposite direction. Discovering Torah on Tuesday does not mean the entire household must be reorganized by Thursday while everybody else receives a twelve-page syllabus. Conviction should make us more humble, not more insufferable. If you have recently changed your beliefs, remember that you had time to process those changes internally before announcing them to everyone else. Your husband may need time too.

Hostility begins to look different. Mockery, intimidation, punishment, coercion, deliberate interference, threats, forced participation in wrongdoing, spiritual manipulation, or attempts to control whether you may practice your faith are not simply theological disagreement. The appropriate response changes with the seriousness of the situation. A sarcastic remark may need a calm conversation. A repeated pattern may need a boundary. A demand that you sin requires refusal. A threat may require a safety plan. A violent incident may require immediate protection. Wisdom does not treat all five situations as though they are the same.

When He Mocks Your Faith

Maybe every time you mention Shabbat he rolls his eyes. Maybe he calls your Bible study an obsession, mocks your convictions in front of the children, tells family members you have become crazy, or waits until you say something spiritual so he can make a joke at your expense. A woman can begin responding to this by defending herself every single time. Soon, every insult produces a theological argument, every joke becomes a courtroom, and every dinner somehow ends in Romans.

You are allowed to stop participating in that cycle. A reasonable boundary might sound like: “You do not have to agree with what I believe, but I am not going to participate in conversations where my faith is mocked. If you want to ask me about it respectfully, I will gladly talk with you.” Notice what that boundary does not say. It does not demand that he believe. It does not threaten him with divine punishment. It does not force him to study. It identifies what you will participate in.

That is what a healthy boundary generally does. A boundary is not, “You are never allowed to say something rude again.” You cannot control whether another adult says something rude. A boundary is closer to, “If this conversation becomes mocking or insulting, I am going to end the conversation and return to it when we can speak respectfully.” If ending the conversation causes him to threaten, restrain, intimidate, or punish you, we are no longer dealing merely with sarcasm. The response needs to change because the situation has changed.

When He Tries to Stop You From Studying Scripture

Perhaps your husband does not simply refuse to study with you. He becomes angry when you study. He complains about the amount of time you spend reading Scripture even when your responsibilities are handled. He hides or destroys study materials. He demands that you stop attending Bible study. He monitors who you talk to. He insists that studying theology is inappropriate for women. He tells you that any spiritual question should be directed to him because he is the “head.” At that point, the issue is no longer simply that the two of you have different interests. He is attempting to exercise control over your access to Scripture and spiritual community.

We need to remember something basic: your husband is not your mediator. First Timothy 2:5 identifies one mediator between God and humanity—Messiah Yeshua. Marriage creates a covenant relationship with genuine responsibilities, but it does not make a husband the gatekeeper between his wife and Yehovah.

A possible response in a non-dangerous situation could be: “I understand that you do not share my interest in studying Scripture. I am not asking you to study with me. But my relationship with Yehovah requires me to know His Word, and I am going to continue studying it.” Then wisdom enters the room. Maybe you choose a time that does not unnecessarily interfere with family responsibilities. Maybe you wear headphones instead of blasting a teaching through the living room. Maybe you stop leaving fourteen theological books on his side of the bed. Accommodation can be loving. Abandoning your relationship with Yehovah to prevent another person's displeasure is something else entirely.

When He Demands That You Violate Your Convictions

This is where the issue becomes much clearer. Maybe he tells you to lie. Maybe he expects you to participate in something you genuinely believe Scripture forbids. Maybe he wants you to conceal financial dishonesty. Maybe he expects you to deceive family members, employers, church leaders, authorities, or your children. Maybe he pressures you to consume something you believe Yehovah has prohibited and frames your refusal as disrespect. Maybe he expects you to celebrate or participate in something you cannot participate in with a clear conscience.

There can be disagreements about whether a particular conviction is biblically correct. That is precisely why we study Scripture carefully. But once you genuinely understand Yehovah to require or forbid something, another human being does not become authorized to overrule Him simply because you married that person.

Acts 5:29 says, “We must obey God rather than men.” Peter is not giving marriage counseling there, so we should not pretend he is. He and the apostles are answering authorities who commanded them to stop doing what God had commanded them to do. Yet the principle reveals something Scripture demonstrates repeatedly: human authority is never absolute authority. The Hebrew midwives refused Pharaoh when obedience to him required participating in evil. Daniel's friends refused Nebuchadnezzar's command to worship the image. Daniel continued praying despite the king's decree. In each case, respect for human authority stopped where obedience required rebellion against Yehovah. Marriage does not reverse that order.

A response may therefore need to be very simple: “I love you, but I cannot do something I believe would be disobedient to Yehovah.” You do not need a three-hour argument after that. You do not need to win the debate. Sometimes faithfulness is simply refusing.

You Do Not Have to JADE

There is a communication tool often referred to as JADE: Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. When you are dealing with someone who is determined to turn your boundary into a debate, it can be incredibly helpful to recognize that you do not have to do any of those things indefinitely. You can explain your conviction once. You can answer an honest question. You can listen respectfully to disagreement. But you are not required to spend the next three hours justifying why you are allowed to obey Yehovah, arguing until someone grants you permission, defending your conscience as though you are on trial, or explaining the same decision fourteen different ways because he refuses to accept the answer.

Sometimes no really does mean no. Not angry. Not contemptuous. Not theatrical. Simply settled. “I understand that you disagree. I love you, and I am not trying to control what you choose. But I cannot participate in something I believe would be disobedient to Yehovah.” If the conversation circles back for the seventh time, you do not necessarily need a seventh explanation. Your boundary does not become invalid because another person dislikes it.

And underneath all of this is a truth that may sound uncomfortable in a marriage article but should not be controversial in a Bible study: I love you, but I love Yehovah more. Yeshua never taught us to love our spouses more than God. Marriage is sacred, but it is not supreme. A husband's disappointment, anger, or disagreement cannot become the deciding factor in whether his wife obeys Yehovah. Loving your husband may affect how you communicate your refusal—with humility, gentleness, patience, and respect—but it cannot transform disobedience into righteousness.

When “Headship” Becomes the Trump Card

This deserves its own full article—and it is getting one—but we need to address it here because hostile husbands sometimes discover that the word submission is remarkably convenient when they want compliance. “I am the head.” “You are supposed to submit.” “God put me over you.” “You need my permission.” “If you disobey me, you are disobeying God.” Those are serious theological claims. Serious claims require serious biblical evidence.

And every time the word submit is used as though it means, “The husband gives an order and the wife obeys because he possesses God's authority over her conscience,” I hear Inigo Montoya somewhere in the back of my mind: “I do not think that word means what you think it means.” Yes, I just brought The Princess Bride into a Bible study. We will all survive.

Because before we construct an entire theology around the word submit, we should probably do something terribly inconvenient and study what Scripture means by it. Who is told to submit? In what context? What responsibilities surround that instruction? What does Scripture say to husbands in the same passages? Does submission mean unquestioning obedience? Does it make a husband his wife's spiritual mediator? Does it give him authority to command sin, suppress her conscience, or override something Yehovah has commanded? Those are not questions we answer by repeating “the man is the head” more loudly. We answer them by opening the Bible.

For now, hold onto one fundamental distinction: submission to a human being is not the same thing as absolute obedience to God. Scripture recognizes multiple kinds of human authority, yet nowhere does human authority become morally infallible. A husband cannot make sin righteous by commanding it. He cannot turn falsehood into truth by demanding agreement. He cannot convert his preferences into divine law by saying the word headship loudly enough. And the fact that a wife respectfully refuses to sin does not automatically make her rebellious.

Our study “Headship, Submission, and the Things Scripture Never Said will examine these passages carefully rather than assuming that centuries of patriarchal interpretation automatically equal biblical interpretation. I would rather read Ephesians 5 than merely hear what somebody's grandfather said Ephesians 5 means.

When He Tries to Isolate You From Other Believers

This one requires discernment because not every concern about a friend, teacher, congregation, or online community is controlling. Sometimes your husband may notice something unhealthy that you missed. Sometimes a ministry really is consuming too much time. Sometimes a friend is disrespectful toward your marriage. Being married means listening when your spouse raises legitimate concerns.

But there is a difference between raising concerns and systematically trying to remove every source of support. If he objects to every woman you confide in, every Bible study you attend, every church relationship, every person who encourages you, and every place where someone else might hear what is happening inside your home, pay attention to that pattern. Isolation can be a warning sign in abusive relationships, particularly when one partner attempts to control who the other person sees or communicates with.

In a safe relationship, you may be able to say: “I will listen if you have a specific concern about someone in my life. But I also need healthy relationships with other believers, and I am not willing to become isolated from everyone who supports my faith.” If even saying that feels dangerous, do not turn the boundary into a confrontation merely because you read it in an article. A boundary does not have to be announced dramatically to be real. Sometimes the wisest next step is quietly seeking outside support and making a safety plan.

When He Uses the Children as Leverage

Mixed-faith parenting can hurt. Maybe he tells the children that your beliefs are ridiculous. Maybe he intentionally schedules competing activities during Shabbat. Maybe he tells them they do not have to listen to anything you teach from Scripture. Maybe he ridicules you in front of them or tries to force you into constant spiritual competition for their loyalty. Your children should not have to become referees in their parents' theological disagreements.

You can teach what you believe without teaching them to despise their father. You can explain differences honestly without turning every family conversation into Mom's Theology versus Dad's Theology: The Final Showdown. A possible response might be: “We disagree about this, and the children are going to know that. But I don't want either of us teaching them to disrespect the other parent. I will explain what I believe and why, and you can explain what you believe and why.”

That works only where genuine dialogue is possible. If children are being threatened, manipulated, harmed, or used as tools of coercion, the situation belongs in a different category and may require professional, legal, pastoral, or domestic-violence support. Again, the circumstances determine the response.

When He Is Choosing Sin and Wants You to Help Hide It

This is another situation that deserves an entire article. Your husband may profess faith. He may know Scripture. He may even talk confidently about biblical authority. And he may still choose sin. Perhaps addiction has taken over significant parts of the home. Perhaps he is repeatedly intoxicated. Perhaps there is sexual immorality, pornography, financial deception, gambling, criminal conduct, uncontrolled rage, dishonesty, or another destructive pattern. Perhaps he wants you to cover for him—to lie to family, make excuses to employers, hide financial consequences, protect his reputation, or explain away his behavior.

You are not required to become an accomplice in order to be a supportive wife.

Acts 5 gives us a sobering example in Ananias and Sapphira. This is not a marriage teaching, and we should not turn it into one. But one detail matters tremendously: Sapphira's husband's participation in deception did not erase her own moral accountability when she chose to participate in the lie. Marriage does not merge two consciences into one.

If your husband asks you to lie for him, a faithful response may be: “I will not humiliate you or gossip about you, but I am not going to lie to protect this.” If he expects you to finance or facilitate destructive behavior, the boundary may be different: “I love you, but I am not going to participate in something that is harming you and harming this family.” If addiction, rage, violence, or coercion is present, however, confrontation itself may increase danger. Do not confuse courage with deliberately escalating an unsafe situation. That is where individualized safety planning and knowledgeable support become important.

Our next study will deal directly with this: When Sin Is Destroying the Marriage — Domestic Violence, Addiction, and What Faithfulness Does Not Require You to Enable. A woman living with addiction, violence, or deliberate wickedness needs more than “respect him harder.”

Abigail Did Not Cooperate With Nabal's Foolishness

First Samuel 25 gives us a fascinating marriage that should make simplistic theories of female submission at least slightly uncomfortable. Nabal is described in distinctly unflattering terms. His wife Abigail is intelligent and discerning. When Nabal's foolish actions place the entire household in danger, Abigail does not say, “Well, he is the head, so I suppose we will all die respectfully.” She acts. She intervenes. She brings provisions to David. She speaks wisely. And her actions prevent bloodshed.

We should not turn one narrative into a universal marriage formula any more than we should turn every narrative into a command. Abigail's story does not answer every modern question about marital authority. But Scripture deliberately presents her wisdom alongside her husband's foolishness, and it certainly does not condemn her for refusing to cooperate passively with his destructive decision. Sometimes righteousness does not look like helping a husband carry out a terrible choice. Sometimes wisdom stands in the doorway and says, No. This stops here.

What If His Hostility Gets Worse When You Set a Boundary?

This is where generic Christian advice can become dangerous. People sometimes tell women, “You just need stronger boundaries,” as though a boundary were a magic sentence that transforms an unsafe person into a respectful one. It is not. A reasonable person may dislike your boundary and eventually adjust. A controlling person may view your boundary as a threat to his control.

That means the moment you become afraid of what he may do when you say no, we need to stop treating this as an ordinary communication problem. If he threatens you, prevents you from leaving a room, destroys property to frighten you, monitors your movements or communications, controls money to prevent independence, threatens your children or pets, pressures or forces sexual activity, intimidates you with weapons, physically hurts you, or makes you afraid of what will happen if you resist him, those behaviors correspond with recognized warning signs of relationship abuse. Your response does not need to be a heroic theological confrontation. Your response may need to be getting help safely.

National Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org/

Boundaries Are Not Punishment

We should define this because boundary has become one of those words everybody uses and nobody necessarily means the same thing by. A boundary is not a method of controlling your husband. It identifies what you will do, what you will participate in, or what you need in order to remain safe and faithful.

It is not, “You have to stop drinking.” You cannot guarantee that. It may be, “I will not ride in a vehicle with you when you have been drinking.” It is not, “You are forbidden from yelling.” You cannot make another person stop yelling. It may be, “If this conversation becomes threatening or abusive, I am going to end the conversation and move to a safer place.”

It is not, “You must respect my Shabbat.” You cannot manufacture respect. It may be, “I am going to keep Shabbat. I am not going to force you to observe it, and I am also not going to deliberately violate what I believe Yehovah has commanded simply to prevent an argument.” Do you see the difference? A boundary identifies your responsibility and your response. It does not pretend you control another adult. And in an unsafe relationship, even those boundaries may need to be implemented with guidance rather than announced ahead of time. Safety comes before winning the boundary conversation.

You Can Be Gentle Without Being Governed by Fear

First Peter 3 matters here, but we need the whole paragraph. Peter emphasizes conduct, reverence, inner character, hope in God, doing good—and not being frightened by fear. That final part is worth sitting with.

There is nothing spiritually beautiful about a marriage in which a woman has learned that holiness means constantly managing a man's temper. There is nothing righteous about calling terror submission. Gentleness is not fear. Respect is not fear. Wisdom is not fear. Submission is not fear. A woman can speak gently and still say no. She can respond without contempt and still refuse sin. She can avoid needless provocation without making another person's anger the ruler of her conscience. Fear should not become the theology that organizes her marriage.

Sometimes the Most Faithful Answer Is Very Small

Not every act of faithfulness needs a speech. Sometimes it is simply: “No, I cannot lie about that.” “I am not comfortable participating in that.” “I am going to continue studying Scripture.” “We can talk about this when we are both calm.” “I won't discuss theology while I am being insulted.” “I love you, but I cannot help you hide this.” “I am going somewhere safe tonight.” The goal is not to produce the most impressive response. The goal is faithfulness.

Sometimes faithfulness speaks. Sometimes it walks away from the argument. Sometimes it calls a wise friend. Sometimes it refuses to cover sin. Sometimes it makes a safety plan quietly because announcing the plan would be dangerous. Wisdom asks not merely, “What am I allowed to do?” but, “What is faithful and prudent in the situation actually in front of me?”

You Are Still Responsible for Your Own Heart

There is one more danger we need to discuss because being wronged does not give us permission to become whatever we want in response. Hostility can harden you. You can begin answering contempt with contempt. You can become so focused on his hypocrisy that you stop examining your own heart. You can use Scripture as ammunition. You can humiliate him publicly because you finally have people who agree with you. You can begin enjoying being spiritually superior. Don't.

His sin does not require your sin. His hostility does not give you permission to become cruel. Boundaries and bitterness are not the same thing. You can refuse wrongdoing without hating the person doing wrong. You can tell the truth without exaggerating it. You can seek help without turning private pain into public entertainment. You can protect yourself and your children without pretending vengeance is righteousness. Romans 12's instruction to overcome evil with good does not mean submitting to evil. It means evil does not get to reproduce itself inside you.

You Do Not Have to Figure This Out Alone

Some of these questions are too complicated for a single article because real marriages are messy. A paragraph cannot know whether your husband is merely frustrated, spiritually hostile, addicted, controlling, abusive, sincerely confused, deeply wounded, or several of those things at once. Sometimes women need a place to say, “Here is what happened in my house. Am I seeing this clearly?” Sometimes they need to hear from another woman who has lived through something remarkably similar. Sometimes they simply need someone to say, “Yes. I understand why that hurt.”

That is one reason we have the Open Your Bible with Sasha Facebook group. It is a place for deeper conversations, questions, discussion, encouragement, and women sharing their own experiences as we work through these studies together. If you are comfortable participating, you are welcome to join us and share your story—or simply read quietly for a while until you feel ready to speak.

Open Your Bible with Sasha Facebook Group: facebook.com/groups/openyourbiblewithsasha

Please remember, though, that an online Bible-study community is not a substitute for professional domestic-violence support, emergency assistance, legal advice, or individualized safety planning when those are needed. If you are in an unsafe situation, use the safety resources provided earlier in this article and be especially careful about posting publicly or in online groups if your devices or accounts may be monitored.

Open Your Bible

Begin with 1 Corinthians 7:10–16. Notice again what Paul is actually discussing: a believer already married to an unbeliever. What does he say when the unbelieving spouse is willing to remain? What does he say if that spouse departs? Then ask what the passage explicitly addresses—and what questions it does not address.

Read 1 Peter 3:1–6 and refuse to stop after “be in subjection.” Follow Peter through conduct, hope in God, doing good, and the instruction not to live in fear. Ask whether an interpretation of submission that depends upon terror can account for the entire paragraph.

Then read Acts 5:27–29. Remember that this is not a marriage passage. Ask instead what general principle it demonstrates when legitimate human authority directly conflicts with obedience to God. Read Exodus 1:15–21, Daniel 3, and Daniel 6. Again, none are marriage texts. Notice the recurring biblical pattern: human authority has limits when it demands rebellion against Yehovah.

Then read 1 Samuel 25 carefully. Pay attention to how Scripture describes Nabal and Abigail. What danger did Nabal create? What did Abigail do? Does the narrator condemn her for acting against her husband's foolish decision—or praise her wisdom? Read Acts 5:1–11 and notice Sapphira's individual accountability when she joins her husband in deception. Marriage does not erase personal moral responsibility.

Finally, read Ephesians 5:6–11 and consider Paul's instruction concerning participation in the works of darkness.

Then ask yourself: Have I confused loving my husband with participating in, hiding, or accommodating something I believe is wrong? And one more: Am I making decisions from wisdom and obedience—or primarily from fear of what will happen if he becomes angry? Those are difficult questions. They are also important ones.

Final Thought

If your husband is hostile to your faith, you may have spent years becoming smaller in order to keep your home calm. You stopped mentioning what you studied. Then you stopped attending something. Then you stopped asking questions. Then you stopped disagreeing. Then you learned which facial expressions were dangerous, which topics were safe, which parts of yourself were easier to put away, and which convictions could be practiced only when nobody was watching.

Perhaps you called that submission. Perhaps somebody else called it submission for you. But there is a difference between laying down selfishness for the sake of love and slowly surrendering your conscience because another person punishes you whenever you use it.

Your husband does not have to share your faith. He does not have to agree with every interpretation you hold. He does not even have to like the choices your convictions produce. But marriage does not make him Yehovah. You are still responsible for how you speak. You are still responsible for your attitude. You are still responsible for whether you are honest, gracious, humble, and loving. And you are still responsible for what you do when another human being asks you to participate in something you believe is wrong.

There may be times when loving your husband means giving him room. There may be times when it means apologizing because you were unnecessarily combative. There may be times when it means compromising on something that was preference rather than command. There may also be times when love and faithfulness require a quiet, respectful, immovable no.

And if his response to that no becomes threatening, coercive, or violent, please do not interpret the danger as proof that you need to become more submissive. That is when we stop asking, “How can I phrase this better?” and start asking, “What do I need in order to be safe?”

Yehovah does not need you to prove your faithfulness by pretending danger is peace. He does not need you to lie in order to protect another person's reputation. He does not need you to participate in wickedness in order to protect the appearance of unity. And He does not require you to call fear submission merely because someone else found that theology useful.

Be humble. Be wise. Be loving. Be careful. But above all, be faithful to Yehovah.

Don't take my word for it... Open your Bible.

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Sources and Study Tools

The primary biblical foundation for this teaching includes 1 Corinthians 7:10–16; 1 Peter 3:1–6; Acts 5:27–29; 1 Samuel 25; Exodus 1:15–21; Daniel 3; Daniel 6; Acts 5:1–11; Romans 12:17–21; Ephesians 5:6–11; and 1 Timothy 2:5.

Several interpretive distinctions are intentionally maintained. Acts 5, Exodus 1, Daniel 3, Daniel 6, and Acts 5:1–11 are not marriage instructions; they are used here to demonstrate the broader biblical principle that human authority does not eliminate individual accountability to Yehovah. Abigail's actions in 1 Samuel 25 should likewise not be converted into a universal formula for marital conflict, but the narrative does provide an important example of Scripture praising a woman's discernment when her husband is acting foolishly and destructively.

First Peter 3 should be read as a complete paragraph rather than reducing the passage to submission or “without a word.” Peter's discussion also includes hope in God, good conduct, and refusing fear. Likewise, 1 Corinthians 7 addresses mixed-faith marriage and should not be forced to function as Scripture's comprehensive treatment of addiction, coercive control, or domestic violence.

For the safety portions of this study, the National Domestic Violence Hotline identifies spiritual abuse within intimate relationships as including ridicule of religious beliefs, preventing religious practice, using spiritual beliefs to manipulate or shame, and using religion to rationalize other abuse. Its resources also identify behaviors including isolation, intimidation, monitoring, financial control, sexual coercion, threats, destruction of property, and physical violence as warning signs that deserve serious attention.

National Domestic Violence Hotline resources: thehotline.org

The Hotline offers safety-planning resources and free, confidential, 24/7 support in the United States at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), by texting START to 88788, or through live chat.